photo by Rosie Lindsey Photography
Ugh it’s been so long! I’m taking a few minutes in an
unusual moment of free time to catch you all up. I’m well! I took my last
antibiotic this morning and I can tell you my body is back to normal, or as
normal as it ever was in the first place. I am still taking advantage of the
contact I had with actual medical professionals to check everything out soon. I
don’t have great insurance, but I do have some so I am going to make sure and
use it.
But enough of that boring shit.
Let me tell you about last night! We had our reunion
reading for the Blue Note issue of Mad Swirl last night at the great Top Ten
Records of Oak Cliff. It’s been 11 years since we recorded the special live
performance of our work on site at the old Absinthe Lounge in the Southside on
Lamar. It’s been gone now for years, but The Swirl has held on and continued to
evolve and move around various venues in the Dallas area. It was a great night,
and it was practically down the street from my home which made it even better.
It was really weird performing a piece that was really
older than 11 years. By my estimation it has to be almost 13 years old. I would
have been 33 years old. Uh..That’s a long time ago. I’d like to think I’ve
evolved since then. Who knows? I pretty much still act the same. I think I write better now. I hope I write
better now.
Things were different back then. The biggest difference
besides my physical appearance
(size and maybe wrinkles) is the fact that I am no longer
friends with someone that I used to be very close with. I remember we would sit
in the big velvet overstuffed chairs in the middle of the venue facing each
other while the reading went on. Now we can’t even stand to be near each other.
I’m not getting into it, because it’s boring, but it’s safe to say that if you
only lose a few friends in a lifetime to stupid misunderstandings and you still
have most of the ones you started out with, or met along the way and became
close with then you average out. I think maybe he never really liked me anyway
because I am a woman and he CLEARLY has problems in that area. I pay he is
well, and that he can find happiness again. The end.
Absinthe was a cool
place. It was Dark, dank, literally underground in a long stretch of a bar that
led to a stage area with lights and back drop. The chairs and sofas were velvet
with a random cigarette burn here and there.
There was lots of purple, green, and black. There was always art on the
walls and the whole place had this Paris coffee house poetry den feel. It was
mighty cool to be there. The crowd was
always a mix of hipsters from the apartments upstairs and the wayward poets who
came in off the dirty streets to spill. It was exciting. We were young, and
they actually served Absinthe there. A lot of our poetry from that time revolved
around the things that happened when we were all together there. For being a
part of a group of people that aremore likely introverts in ‘real life’ we
really let our freak flags fly. I guess that’s how it goes when you find your
tribe. That’s it really. They are my tribe.
Although you can never recapture a moment like that, I
feel like the collection is a great snapshot in time. Last night we came back,
older and maybe a bit wiser to perform them again. My poem was an angry pointed stab at working
drone society and how we, the poets, were never ever going to be like that. I
almost laughed when I read the part about cubicles because, I work in one now.
Well, not really I have 3 permanent walls.. PERMANENT and I think that is
different but.. ha ha. Oh well. Anyway, it felt good to play with Swirve and
see my old friends. The funny thing is we still see each other all the time.
There are only a few or us that kind of strayed or moved away.
The biggest surprise was seeing Desmene! She has been out
of the state for a few months and we didn’t plan on seeing her but she surprised
us! It was so good to hear her perform again. She has always been one of my
absolute favorites. Seeing her made Rosie scream with delight! She actually
screamed! We cried a little inside too, because us witches have to stay
together. Rosie, Des and I. We have our moments.. and our witchy sides too. I’m
really glad she is back. I‘m ready to burn some shit and drink some wine.
Last night was a great break from the monotony, lately I
have been in a rut of work, eat, smoke, and sleep. I also had been sick so I
wasn’t doing too much, or at least when I tried I wasn’t mentally present.
Sometimes when you are sick all you think about is being sick. Or is that just
me? God Bless the hypochondriac that is actually sick. Lawd.
I had my first beer in almost 2 weeks last night. I was
less than stellar. Maybe I can chill a little bit longer. I am really proud of
myself for doing it even as long as I did. The weekend was an odd experiment in
sobriety that I wasn’t too sure about. I went to MFA for the Cohen opening..
and it was fun and all but I didn’t have a drop of alcohol and it was really
WEIRD. I mean, I felt really strange and even had a bad anxiety attack for a
few minutes. It’s been a while since I had one of those. Still feels like shit.
Personally, I don’t recommend it.
Well, my faithful reader (because I’m almost sure there
is only one) Thanks for listening and texting me and asking me to update like
you do. You keep me accountable. I will be answering your question on my next
post. There is a lot to say, and maybe this post gave you some of the answer as
Mad Swirl has been a constant in my life for the past 15 years of my performance
history. They have been my sponsors, my editors and publishers too. God Bless
Johnny O and MH Clay. God Bless Mad Swirl, and God Bless being home again with
friends. Yeah, it was a really great night.
