All the Poop You Can Scoop ( a weekend recap)

Oh my gosh. It’s been so long. I think it’s only been a week but it feels like a long time.

This weekend was jam packed. Where to begin?

Poets on X+ was Friday. VP Crowe was our feature and it was a great night in the gallery. We had a nice crowd and a few first timers on the mic which is the best feeling in the world as a host. I feel more addicted to hosting new readers than anything else.  It’s such a rush to see the first time someone just gives it a go and does it. The best part is that they usually return or continue to do more open mics and then you have a poetry junkie and it’s the best thing in the world.  It was good to see friends, hear work and have a few drinks. We had originally planned to go out to Ft Worth to see some friends after but we lingered at the MFA until most of the beers were gone and we were ready to crash. Here is a great picture my friend, Ant Colony took.

Saturday we stayed in most of the day. I managed to get some groceries and pull myself together for the evening. That day was Amy Winehouse’s bday so I listened to a lot of her work I hadn’t been able to for a long time just because it always made me sad.. but this time it felt good. I still feel sad but I guess the sting has worn off a bit and I can tolerate her again. I felt inspired by her style again so I tarted up for the reading that night. It’s been a while since I have had the energy to dress up and I missed that feeling of being polished and shined up like a brand new penny.

Edward Viduarre was the feature at Pleasant Groove. It was good to see him and his wife again.  The reading was great, the open mic was so eclectic and good and of course the hosts were the most gracious and sweet. I love the vibe there. Edward read from all of his books but I was so in love with the selections from his most recent book, Jazzhouse. I was lucky to be gifted with a copy the last time we met and I have become a real fan. It’s just so beat, and that’s what I like, you know that stuff turns me on. After the reading we rushed over to Top Ten to catch Joe Millazo, but he cancelled out due to a family emergency so we missed him. We also missed Logan Cure, who was on the bill but we arrived too late. We did run into Nadia Wolnisty and B.A. and the whole place was packed up. It was an impressive line up and a great crowd. C and I met a few musicians and convinced them they HAD to go to Avant next week. I am personally so excited to see what happens this coming Sunday. I had a dream about Dillon a few nights ago, because I think I am missing him. I will have to see him soon too. He is going to be performing on Sunday so I really can’t wait.

Yesterday was a busy day as well. We went to Ft Worth to see C’s mom and P was able to go with us. We are still hearing stories and seeing pictures from the trip because we haven’t had any extended time together since she returned. We had a good visit with mom and were glad to have my sis in law and her husband and my awesome nephew come by. He is getting so big that it makes me a little sad. Soon there won’t be any babies around.. there really aren’t any more now. I don’t know why that bothers me, but it does.

After we got back from ft worth, we had rehearsal time with Zim and George. This project is completely different than YLS and I am really getting more excited. Honestly I was really nervous and anxious about this happening yesterday. I don’t really feel like I am committed enough to the music lately and generally I feel like that about everything creative in my life. This job takes a lot out of me right now. I go home and collapse most nights and don’t want to be bothered with anything. I have become kind a lazy without any responsibilities to other people, I have kind given up on my own responsibilities to myself. It’s like saying I missed dressing up. I always did that, but now I am really tired most of the time. That makes me feel kinda sad too. Anyhow, back to the rehearsal. I love the way everything seems to be melding together. I like the way the more I do it with them the more I feel like it’s a good thing. I still think what C and I are doing is completely different than anything I have heard anywhere.. and these guys want to play with us, so that feels like something.. you know? They are interested in what we do and it’s a big puzzle getting what I guess you’d call traditional instruments to play with the noises we create. I like that we are learning how to listen. I have also made more of an effort to get some spoken word done because that’s my arsenal and I should employ it instead of trying to make something happen that I obv .need more practice at. I don’t know. I do get hard on myself about it all. But when we listen to playback it all sounds really great to me.  I think we sound like a band I would pay to see. I think that is positive!

Zim and I did some writing and drinking and smoking of my weekend pack of cigs. We polished them off and I’m actually happy that I don’t have a few stray ones around tempting me. While I was there I thought of some things I really need to commit to writing about. I made a list and vow to start chipping away at it all.

Well, Something has been bothering me a bit but I hate to mention it because it just makes me sound like I am complaining again.. but here it is. I wish more people would come and support my friend’s reading. That’s it. I think there are a lot of readings out there, but I think hers is the best. I felt really fortunate to have a good crowd form my feature, and I don’t even care that a lot of people I know who would have really enjoyed it missed it all.. I just seem to care that some people make all the effort to support some things but not others. I used to take it all so personally because things get personal out there sometimes. What I can’t understand is why it is so hard to come to a friend’s reading every once and a while. I don’t know. I can’t begin to understand and I can’t be everywhere myself anyway and I miss lots of things now. Maybe there isn’t a point here at all. Maybe I just need to get myself out more and not worry about things so much.

Wednesday I am going to see Morrissey. He was just only the most important thing in my life when I was a teenager. I am going to spend some time writing about him and the show so that update should come by the end of the week. We are also going to see Stereolab this weekend which is going to be so amazing that I can hardly wait.  Our Friend Kevin is also coming to stay at the house for a few days this week too, so we have lots to look forward to.

Oh and big news! I finally lost a few pounds. It took months but now its all starting to work for me. I feel good and am sticking with it. Maybe by Christmas I will be down another size and we can really get cooking in 2020. There are only so many things I can concentrate on right now in my life, and I am proud I have chosen self-care to be my top priority at this time.  The weather will be getting cooler soon and it will be time to commune with nature again and get some hiking in. I have missed my space at the preserve all summer long. I can’t wait to talk to the trees again.

So that’s all the poop you can scoop.  I didn’t want to write today but it ended up not hurting. I hope to drop in again in a few days.

Until then..