Love that face

Can you get bored of your face?

Well here I am. I’ve been sick and not feeling too great. I went to the Dr. on Monday and got some antibiotics but I am still feeling bad. This is all coming from a hypochondriac that finally is actually ill. They want me to come in next week for more tests but something tells me I am going to see someone before that because I am still feeling like shit.

I managed to miss only one day of work. I have been sitting at my desk feeling like a zombie because the doc told me to cut out caffeine and that is when I realized I am really bored of my face. I also got a new phone that I can selfie myself with and yeah.. bored.

Last week was a toll. It was full of good things but near the end of it I was dragging my ass. I just can’t hang with the kids anymore. Sunday night I didn’t make it very long into Avant before going home. I noticed a few days into last week I was feeling especially emotional which happens when I am getting ill most of the time. When Kevin, my friend was staying over for a few days I think I managed to cry about 3 times while we were talking. Just exhausted I guess. The Dr says I have an infection but I think it’s more advance than we realize as I am kinda still in physical pain. All the weight loss isn’t helping me right now and in fact I managed to have a good cheat weekend while Kev was here. I don’t regret it because I was as mindful as could be about the whole thing. I had pizza, and breakfast taco and probably too many beers.. but it felt good.

Last week there was an article written about me and that has probably introduced a lot of people to the crazy that is my blog. I am not even sure why I tied myself to it. It is a better thing to remain somewhat anonymous when things like this arise, but as always I just held up my hand like Horshack. So what will come of all of this?

This is the time of year I hate the most. It isn’t anything to do with the season, it’s more about the memories tied up in this time of year. My mom’s passing, my dead cat’s bday, getting fired from my last job, all happened this time of year. When I should be preparing for decorations for Halloween and fall I am kinda just stuck in a rut. Now I’m sick and worried about my guts rotting out. It’s just a laugh riot around here.

But! I do have some exciting news. My good pal Susan is helping me put together a Halloween costume. I am really excited to have some help to do this, as I always have such great ideas but no follow thru. Mainly because it is really hard to create the stuff I have in my mind in such a short amount of time and I am usually putting things off too long. Not this time. There is a cash prize at work at stake! Also, I really want to have a good costume this year. I lost this weight and I want to enjoy the process that usually made me want to cry every year.  We are getting together this weekend to try things out. I am really excited and hope I feel better by then.

Also, the band rehearsals are going really well. We now have a guitar and percussion added to the mix, This is a separate project than YLS and we are trying to get a name together. It looks like we will be performing in October and maybe even November if we can keep up the colab work. I also have another project with Tamitha Curiel that hasn’t even begun yet. I hope we can make something happen soon if we can both get some time. I am also working on a performance for Halloween night for Bouchercon that will be hosted in Dallas this year. Next week is Mad Swirl and I will be performing a revised edition of my Blue Note poem. So yeah, busy. Now if only I could stop feeling like poop.

So who is still reading this?

I know I have secret trolls and followers. I can only hope you are one of them.

If you are reading this now then know

I’m smiling.

I promise to tell you all about Stereolab tomorrow. About how sweet Leticia is and how nice it is to meet fans of the same kind of music you love. And I should tell you how good Morrissey was and how he even got a good concert review from the Dallas Morning News which is nuts because they have always hated him. I promise to tell you how it feels to be playing with other people and how we celebrated Kevin’s bday with music and wine and fun and how much I missed him and didn’t realize it until we were up all night talking and laughing together.  I promise to tell you about how annoying my cats are but I felt bad because Moni lost her cat and she is really sad and I know I am just going to lose my mind when one of mine dies because that’s what they do and it’s really a shame.

Of how I felt when the Dr couldn’t tell me what was really wrong without getting more tests run,

About how I wanted to ask Kevin to make sure and take care of C if something or when something happens to me. You know, to make sure he is ok.. because..it’s going to happen some day.  About how I don’t want to think about things if they go the other way around. About how I have been looking into life insurance because I don’t want to leave a mess when I leave everyone behind.

I get so emotional when my body reminds me that I am not immortal. I just wish I could start feeling better now, but I know I shouldn’t complain.

Come to think of it, it’s not such a bad face after all.