The reality of bipoloarosity

In all its glory can be a fascinating state of existence. On the other hand, it can be a real pile of shit.

Mania. Glorious manic tide pools of incredible motion, energy and creativity. Feeling ten feet tall, sexy, unstoppable, *not hungry* bold, fearless, a whirling dervish of ideas thoughts and delights. Dancing all night, getting up early and hiking a few miles, increased awareness and a general sense of well being.

Healthy ideas, except for the smoking, drinking and running oneself ragged.. spending more money than you have, saying EVERYTHING on your mind aloud. Professing you love to everyone and everything. Physically wanting to be closer to every human being you come in contact with. Scaring people. Scaring yourself, but laughing it off.

Slowly slowly unwinding into

The zipper blues, your clothes not fitting well, nothing looks good on you.  You just want to eat and smoke and listen to a particular artist or sometimes a song.. the saddest one you can find. The blahs. The heavy sighs. The muddied thinking, missing details and getting chewed out at work. Feeling worth less. *eating everything* no energy, wanting to stay in bed and watch reality tv.. especially the 800 lb life one. Not feeling sexy..don’t brush your teeth/hair or want to bathe. Paranoid Behavior. Remembering all your dead friends. The mean reds. Anxiety. Anger.Frustration.

Sharp turn back into

Mania. Glorious manic tide pools of incredible motion, energy and creativity.

The person I am to you all depends on when you meet me, see me, run into me. If you do run into me, no matter what, I’m doing ‘ fine’ I’m doing ‘great’

Or maybe I will call or desperate text you, give you some kinda line that makes you say ‘whoa..what the hell is going on over there, opal?’

Or he will ask me, ‘what is wrong?’

Well, I don’t’ know…

But I do.

And I say just hold on because it’s bound to change soon.

I hope.

Quick guess on where I am now.