Thursday, August 8, 2019

Bestie - A poem


Bestie

The truth about it
is that it’s all armor now
slashed scars
have grown over themselves
hardened
Into a new kind of shell
That embraces and
shields 
and when I walk into a room
it
gives them something
to notice
so that everyone knows
you changed me.

This cape of skin
Shrinking away
Under hands
Gives devilish delight
Eats away at itself
Night after night
Feeding on  
The events that should have never happened
and
The words that should have never been said
The lips that should have never kissed
re-missed..
is all now
Food for strength
And wasting away
I click my nails in anticipation
I whirl my hair and count the pounds
calorie for carb
energy displaced

And when you are near
I am a ghost
a shadow of myself
A silent cobweb
That will blow over
Like cigarette smoke
Hand waved
Lilting away

My steps vanish
To dust
No thud behind them
No moving waves
Just stillness
Solid
Quiet

My body is armor now
Strong but invisible
Ice cold but silent
Don’t look for me
Speak my name
Or pause in memory
The wounds you gave
Turned from black to blue
To purple to grey
To gone
Like you
To me
Like you
To me

If I shrink shrink away
maybe 
so 
will the pain.

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